ride joe ride

This weekend I was reminded that doing things well isn’t always, or even often, as entertaining as doing them dramatically. I’ve ridden a couple of genuinely well-paced races this season, and I’ve ridden the rest in my favorite form that I like to call the “Burning Fireball of Exploding Lactate Death.” Yesterday I decided to leave the HRM at home and pace based on feeling alone which led, of course, to one of the best examples of BFELD I’ve experienced in recent memory. Allow me to share with you the joy of BFELD in chronological order.

-0:30 OMG OMG! FINALLY A GOOD STARTING POSITION!

0:30 OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! that was an awesome start! OMG! OMG! OMG! Is that Lou right over there?!?! OMG! OMG! Maybe today is the day! I’m like 10th!

1:30 OMG! OMG! OMG! I’m still in like 10th! This is it! This is gonna be my day! I’m in the Lead Group! OMG!

4:00 Okay okay, gotta let the Lead Group go, but they’re The Really Fast Guys. It’s cool! I’m like in 13th OMG!

5:00 Wow, my legs are full of stars! Just a few more minutes pegging it and then I’ll sit up and see where I am. Maybe all those starts yesterday weren’t such a good idea.

10:00 Phew okay, one lap down, and just a little more to make sure I am staying up here and then I’m sitting up.

12:00 Ugh, that hill got lots bigger. Ouch. It’s cool. Those dudes passing me are totally going to explode. I’ll work up to them in a bit.

15:00 Hey Mark! What the hell were you doing behind me? You’re never behind me after the first lap and a half. Oh no, wait…

20:00 Hey Patrick! Awesome! This is the first time I’ve been with a teammate mid-race all season! We’re gonna tear it up man! I thought I was getting cooked, but seriously I think I’m back. We’re gonna be like the Belgian cyclocross team. I’m gonna look over my shoulder and check the competition, let em know that we mean biz. Alright let’s hit it.

25:00 Holy crap, we’re catching those guys who just passed me! I think we might have even dropped Mark!

27:00 Okay okay, you just pull for a bit and I’ll sit in behind you.

30:00 Yeah, Patrick, you just go on. I’ll hang back here and block, man. It’s cool — all part of the plan. I’m just going to recover for a few seconds.

32:00 I think I’m going to throw up.

32:30 Is that Green Day those trumpet dudes are playing?! OMG that makes me so angry for some reason.

33:00 Ha, you think you’re a badass cause you ride an “evenly paced race” don’t you? Yeah, pass me. Fine.

34:00 Okay shit, I’ve BFELD’d. Now it’s time to rely on my skillz. Time to breathe deep and carve up the course super smooth style. Time to work these turns like…Hey where the hell did you come from?! No come back!

35:00 No more passing! Nobody else comes by me from now on!

36:00 Okay, NOW nobody else comes by!

37:00 Dude, did you hear me say that nobody else passes me? Huh?

40:00 IT’S 5 MORE MINUTES, NOBODY ELSE CAN PASS ME OKAY!?!

41:00 Oh, Mr. Pony Shop, you have picked the wrong moment to mess with me. NO PASSING!

44:30 NO PASSING! NO PASSING! NO PASSING! Ouch that damn poll hurt. NO PASSING! NO PASSING!

45:00 I’ll be over here on the ground waiting for my beer IV okay?

So the less said about my race last Sunday the better: bad start, broke my front brake cable on the second lap, limped around the remainder of the race and got to be the last rider to finish the lead lap (yeah just me, my rebellious broken brake and the people warming up for the next race on the course). That said, I really think the Northbrook course was better this year even without the hill. It’s like last year the race was all meatball and no sauce. This year, more sauce and less meatball.

Speaking of sauce(d), don’t miss the awesome documentary in the making which focused on the fans this week.

Also, Luke Seeman’s photography is always fantastic, and you can even buy a calendar filled with it so you can while away the boring spring/summer months staring at the photos and dreaming of cyclocross. His shots from Northbrook were particularly good, though. Maybe it’s that the golden hour now coincides with the 4bs race. Maybe it’s just because it’s so freakin awesome that we have that many people spectating.

Oh, I know all of you reading this know, but I won the CCC t-shirt design contest for what is undoubtedly my greatest ‘cross related achievement this season. Go buy some shirts and make sure they are orange.

With the training in the bag, it’s time to celebrate with a weekend of cross: Indian Lakes grass crit tomorrow (my favorite!) and then up to Wisconsin for some mountain-bike style cx at Gibbs Lake. Two days of cross!

Finally, I am still undecided whether to pack sensibly or as if I have succumbed to the inevitable.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

Dear Cyclocross,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, I know. I’ve been trying to figure out how best to say what needs to be said. You and I both know that things have been kinda awkward since Dan Ryan Woods. I know you were having a bad day, and all the badass dudes you normally hang out with from the Pony Shop and Verdigris were off cavorting with other interests. You were feeling dejected. The Belgians, the romantic fall weather, and that big ol’ hill just got the best of us and what happened happened. It’s cool.

What I want to write to tell you is that just because things are back to normal with us being “just friends” doesn’t mean that I am going to go off and pretend I’ve forgotten about stuff or that I don’t have feelings for you. I’m not going to be that creepy dude who is like “I don’t care if you hate me, I am still devoting my life to you” cause, well, that’s creepy. But, as someone wisely noted recently (and talking about you, no less) “the course of true love never did run smooth.” Someone else noted (though somewhat less recently) that “hope springs eternal in the human breast.” It’s the overlap of those two that keeps me looking for you every Fall Sunday morning.

And seriously, the Pony Shop and Verdigris dudes are getting old anyway. Sooner or later they have to start having some “performance issues.” Just sayin’.

Your BFF(+),

Joe